Manor verses Harlow match report

After receiving an SOS phone call late on Saturday evening at Twickenham, whilst concluding my report of England’s 20-13 victory over the convicts for the national press, I had great pride in agreeing to cover another sporting spectacular the following Sunday morning. The sporting spectacular was Eton Manor U14’s versus Harlow U14’s at the mecca of junior rugby, Harlow’s third pitch on their communal ground just off of one of the numerous roundabouts with a fast-food restaurant on it. Anyone who has had the pleasure of attending this amazing venue will know what i am talking about, for those who haven’t its the pitch furthest way from the club house accessed via a Bear Grhyll’s type trek through the forest.

The sun shone brightly and the wind swirled around viciously as we arrived to be told rather sadly that due to a bereavement Harlow's squad had been severely depleted and a game of 12 aside, without wingers or number 8’s, was agreed upon.

Whilst this meeting of the coaching hierarchy was taking place I was fortunate to be furnished with almost 3/4’s of one of Harlow’s bacon baps. The bun was soft with a nice floury top filled with 2 generous rashers of crispy bacon. 8 out of 10 all day long it was that nice I did not even bother to track down any red or brown sauce to accompany it!
Well done Harlow’s Kitchen workers.

With 8 of our boys away on Essex duties and 12 aside this was only ever going to be about the boys that had turned up just getting as much ball as they can and a fun Sunday run out.

First Half
Eton Manor started with Teirnan, Regan, Fred the fridge, Will, Alex, Jack D and Billy in the forwards and a back line of Charlie, Anthony, Mighty Max C, Jermaine the bullet and Simon the cyclist.

It took all of 3 mins before Jermaine “jogged” over for the first of Eton Manor’s tries, and the 3 he would score on the day. A nice move from a penalty which went through our backs hands, something which would become frequent from Manor during the game. Under the posts an easy conversion from Anthony.

On 9 mins Manor took full advantage from a scrum they won against the head and again the bullet applied the afterburners and finished under the posts for another try and easy conversion for Mr Regan.

You didn't have to be a rugby expert to work out that this was going to be a rather one sided affair and sympathy began to build for a game and for a severely out classed group of young lads from Harlow who were playing the game in a great spirit.

At the beginning of the game we were warned of the ref who was fair to both teams but we were told “likes his whistle!”. He didn't let us down with some consistently strange decisions. Twice we were penalized for arguing and once for “jumping" out of a tackle

3 more tries were scored in the first half 1 for Simon after some good rucking, Anthony then scored a fine try after receiving the kick from Harlow’s penalty, before Jermaine went over for this third of the day, after a great run by Regan through the middle.

All the first half tries were converted by Anthony and at half time Manor led 35 - 0

Second half
Wholesale changes were made at the interval. Leaving the field were Simon, Fred, Regan, Charlie, Alex, Jermaine to be replaced by George, Jake, Max H, Fin, Red, Harry Waggers and Edvardis.

The second half picked up where the first half left off with Manor dominating and Harlow showing game resistance and a few passages of play themselves.

Three more unanswered tries were scored by Billy, George and Max H and all but 1 was converted by the near faultless boot of Anthony, who ended the game with a great conversion from the left hand touch line. The final score was Manor 54 - 0 Harlow.

As I sign off I would just like to say thank you for all those who were instrumental in contacting myself to report on this rugby masterclass good luck boys against Westcliff.

David ’The Peoples Pen’ Regan

'Get to know your squad'
This week is from two of our forwards:

Name: Jack Keeling
Position: Number 8
How long have you been playing rugby: I've been playing rugby for manor for 8 years
Favorite rugby player (past or present): Sonny bill Williams
Favorite Premiership Team: Saracens
Favorite 6 Nations team: England
Favorite food: Chinese
Why do you like rugby: I just enjoy the game
Why do you like your position: I just like my position
Describe yourself in three words: tall, strong, team player
What law of rugby would you change: To be able to dump tackle people above the shoulder

Name: Jack Davies
Position: Openside flanker
How long have you been playing rugby: 3 years
Favorite rugby player (past or present): Dan Lydiate (Wales flanker)
Favorite Premiership Team: Saracens
Favorite 6 Nations team: England
Favorite food: Donar Kebab
Why do you like rugby: I like making big hits on bigger players (most players are bigger than me!)
Why do you like your position: You don't have to mark a certain position and can tackle who ever you want.
Describe yourself in three words: dedicated, hard working and fearless
What law of rugby would you change: Back row should be able to break away from the scrum before the ball comes out.